Nagging Sadness

I have had this nagging, sad feeling all weekend, including today. I mean relentless nagging. I am haunted by my experiences. My heart has been heavy with loss, heavy with longing for sweet Jonah and Harper and the child that I wonder if God will ever see fit to bless me with.  

I had every intention of not blogging about my sadness, for fear of ruining everyone's week, or at least everyone's Monday. But, on my way home from work today I heard a song on the radio with the lyrics, 

"You make all things work together for my good...You stay the same through the ages. Your Love never changes." 

It is amazing to me that no matter how broken down I am, no matter how scattered about I feel, God's Love never changes and He never gives up on me as I stumble to carry this heavy, heavy cross.

There is a sadness that follows me and it always will until the day I see Jonah and Harper again. Nothing can change that. But I know that God is using this horrible pain and sadness to bring glory to His Name. No, I would never have chosen it for myself. But in these broken days, I am learning to cling to my Father as He is the only One Who can get me through.

And seeing that my blog has had more than 13,000 views is simply God whispering to me, "I am working things out for your good, Abby...even though it hurts, even though it stings..."