One Year Without Harper

One year has passed since I gave birth and said goodbye to Harper. One. Whole. Year. That doesn't even seem possible. How can a year have passed when I can close my eyes and be back in Gainesville at Shands in such pain, holding sweet little bitty Harper? Just how in the world can it be?

My mind keeps going back to the traumatic events on October 18 and 19, 2012...and I still can't believe all that took place...and that I survived all of it. And I can't believe that my arms are empty and heavy at the same time. And I know that people can't understand what I mean when I say that.

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Harper...even though it is not a happy day down here for me and Daddy. Today we are broken more than usual and hurting just as much as we were hurting a year ago. I know you and Jonah are celebrating together and I can't wait until the day that I can hold you two close and we are all together again! It is much too hard without you two, especially on days like today...