IVF Start Day

Yesterday was our IVF start day and I had every intention of blogging about the day last night. But, by the time I got home I wanted nothing more than to take a long, hot bath to wash away the awful day that I had, so that is what I did.

My appointment in Jacksonville yesterday was at 9:45am. Aaron and I got up and left our house around 6:45am. Aaron drove and I rode in the passenger seat. Once we got to Valdosta, we stopped at Starbucks for breakfast and then we continued on our journey. The first thing that went wrong was my cake pop. I cannot resist the Salted Caramel cake pops from Starbucks! So, when I saw that they had them yesterday morning (because they don't always!) I had to get one. I ate it in the car and I enjoyed every minute of it :). Then, probably 30 minutes later, I noticed that I had dropped some cake pop on my pants and smeared it in, not knowing it was there. That made me mad! Here it was IVF start day and I was going to see Dr. Winslow with cake pop smeared jeans. Of course. But, thanks to some wipes I had in my car, I was able to get the smear off of my pants, so my meltdown was over.

The whole cake pop fiasco happened and then I decided to text Kristi (my gestational carrier) or text her back, I can't remember which one it was. So, I have my head propped-up on the top of my passenger side door and I am texting away, oblivious to anything around me. Aaron has been working a lot these days. He gets up every single morning at 5:45am and sometimes he doesn't get home until after 7:00pm. He stays worried about the store that he manages. When he is not there, say on IVF start day, he is worried about the store and his workers because anything that goes on in the day-to-day operations reflects on him, whether he is there or not. Add in there that me and Aaron are both so physically and mentally exhausted because of everything that has happened in the past year, and that leaves you with some pretty wore-out people. When your mind is constantly reeling, thinking about everything that has happened and everything that we have to do in order to have a baby one day, it really can wear you out mentally.

So, back to where I was. I was texting away to Kristi with my head propped on the passenger door. Aaron and I had just been talking about my stupid cake pop just a moment before. Next thing I know, I hear a crash right at my head. Aaron had dozed off for just one second behind the wheel and drifted over the line. We ran into the side of a box truck. I was absolutely hysterical! I was so upset and crying so hard I felt like I was going to vomit. Aaron was just in complete shock and he was pretty upset that he had upset me so much. We pulled over to the side of the road (all the while I am extremely worked-up) and Aaron got out to speak with the guy we ran into. The man was so nice, his truck was not hurt in any way and he was just glad everyone was okay. Aaron gave him his name and number in case he needed to get in touch with him if there were any problems and we called Robbie, our State Farm Insurance agent. My car was still driveable. The passenger side door was messed up, the side mirror and door handle had been ripped off, there was a huge gash in the side of the door/the fender area, and the door and window just wouldn't even open. We are so blessed to still be alive and so blessed that it wasn't worse. It could have been so much worse than it was.

We continued on to my doctor's appointment, even though I was an emotional wreck! I was already nervous about this appointment so when we had our fender-bender, it did not help me at all. We made it to our appointment on time and waited for awhile. Once they called us back, they did bloodwork on me, to check my hormone levels. If your hormone levels are too high, they will not want to start you on the medicines yet, so this is why they do bloodwork at this visit. The sweet girls in the lab accidentally drew Aaron's blood and made him give a urine sample. He has to do this closer to the date of the actual embryo transfer so it was just a waste. Poor guy!

Next up was my vaginal ultrasound with Dr. Winslow. The reason he does this is to look at my ovaries and make sure that there aren't any cysts or anything else going on that he should be aware of. If there is anything going on, he would not want me to start the medicines until things were quiet in my ovaries. But, everything looked great so I was given the go-ahead. We met with Nan, the IVF Coordinator, to go over how to administer the injections one more time and then my appointment was over.

We headed back to Moultrie, wide-awake, and we went straight to Enterprise to pick up a rental car and then we dropped my wrecked car off at Robert Hutson Paint & Body. When we finally got home, I just sat on the couch thinking about the day until it was time for my first injection. I was SO nervous! I will post a blog later on this week to tell you all about the injections.

So, we have "officially" started IVF! It was a whirlwind of a day that's for sure! Despite everything that happened and how mad and sad and nervous I was about the wreck and the actual appointment, I feel the prayers! I have asked you all to specifically pray for me and Aaron's relationship because this whole process as well as living with the loss of our boys is stressful on our marriage. Through the wreck we had, the appointment and Aaron giving me my first injection, I have seen just how much Aaron cares for me and how much he is worried about me.  Poor Aaron felt so bad about dozing off and crossing the line. And then, to see me struggle when it was time for the first injection (more on this later), I think it has been a little too much for him. Aaron worries about me, about all the things that has to take place with my body for the IVF and about how losing Jonah and Harper has affected me. I know it is not easy for him to watch me go through all of these awful things, that involve my body, knowing there isn't anything he can do. Please believe me when I say that I could have never found another man like Aaron Willis :). It is because of this deep love we have for one another that we wanted a child to begin with.